Vapors and Mirrors
by the one and only yo
Summary: Tobe Kakeru is an easy going guy. But a certain conversation changed that. He realizes that his friends have secrets to keep. His easygoing life starts to unravel as he explores who he truly is amidst the web of lies and hurt. Will he lose everything? Or will he find answers and get something…


0

"Tobecchi! Have you seen like, Hina around? We totally need to have this group picture together outside the station."

I looked back to Yui, who was with Miura-san (who was busy fiddling with her phone) and then looked around Kyoto station. Man the stairs is so high, and it had way too many steps. Good thing they have those escalators around. Then I saw a glimpse of Hina-chan on the top flight of the stairs. She quickly disappeared after going to the side. Darn, even from afar, she's still as cute as ever.

"I think I got her, I'll go after her Yui." Then I gave her a thumb up. "Sorry bros, gotta go get her." I clasped my hands and lowered my head slightly at Hayato, Ooka and Yamato.

"Hey it's fine, I could mail her to give her a heads up." Hayato replied. Then I ran to go after Hina-chan.

"Oi, you be careful Tobe, you might fall over." Yumiko said with her eyes still on the phone. Yeah yeah ma'am, you're not my mom. If I'd said that to her I'd never hear the end of it.

I quickly found myself on the bottom of the stairs and found myself on a dilemma. If I tried to use the escalators beside the stairs, it'd take me longer to get her. Aah screw it, I'm using the stairs. Sorry mom got to hurry.

…

Man, am I glad I joined the football team. I wouldn't be panting as much as I did now. I reached the top of the stairs and stopped to catch my breath. I also closed my eyes from the sun for a bit as I looked around. There was another set of stairs to my right, but it lead to the rooftop. Was Hina-chan trying to get some time alone or something? Well wouldn't blame her. I mean, Hikitani-kun freaking confessed to her! He also cut me off too. Didn't he know how much I had to prepare for that perfect moment? I won't lose to you next time.

I walked up to the stairs and looked above. There was sunlight touching the top steps, but the walk there was kind of dark. I was so uncool! That haunted house really scared me and Hina-chan could barely hold a chuckle as I held on to Hayato of all people. Why was he there with Miura in the first place? It could've been a great chance for me. Then again, they'd know I would be a scaredy cat, but still...

As I neared the top of the stairs I could hear Hina-chan's voice. There was another voice too, it sounded like a guy. Wait, this voice sounded like Hikitani-kun. What?! Did she change her mind or something? I hurried up while taking extra care not to be heard. I had to listen to this; I want to know why she was like this. I'm sorry Hina-chan. Good thing the walls of the stairs reached above the rooftop floor, it provided some cover…

"…Tobe might seem like trash, but I think he's a nice guy you know?" Speak for yourself Hikitani-kun, what you did to me wasn't cool. I asked for your help man, why go ruin it for me?

"Not happening. If I were to date someone right now, there's no way it'd work out." Hina-chan...

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know. I know I'm rotten to the core." Huh?

"I guess, that's that then"

"Yeah, that's that" and then she chuckled. It didn't sound like that chuckle she was holding back on the haunted chamber yesterday. It sounded so sad. Why do you feel this way Hina-chan? I can make you happy if you want! Hell, you may not notice it; I even embraced that otaku side of yours. It's what makes you, you. You're much more than that Hina. I don't get it.

"You know, maybe it could work out if I was with you." You can do better than Hikitani-kun. You know what he did to Sagami-san. He's a heartless jerk.

"Don't even joke about it. I might fall for you if you whisper sweet nothings like that."

What? I thought you liked Hina-chan. Then what was that confession for? Why?

"I actually do like how you're such an open book with people who don't matter." He lied to you Hina-chan. Why are you taking this so well?

"What a coincidence. I like that part of me too." You think you're cool huh Hikitani-kun?

"I'm no better. I like how I'm capable of saying things I don't really mean too.

You see… I like my current self and the way things are. I haven't had anything like this in ages, so I don't want to let go of it. I like where I stand right now, and the people who stand with me. That's why, I hate myself."

I could hear Hina-chan walking towards the stairs, so I hurriedly ran back a few steps.

I don't get it. I don't get it. What is going on? There are so many questions I want to ask. Hina-chan why do you hate yourself? If I did something wrong? We do something wrong? We can all talk about this… right?

As Hina neared the stairs, I decided that I was far enough and turned around to face the sunlight above.

"Aah, Hina-chan, t-there you are." I didn't realize how shaken I was until I heard my own voice. Calm down Tobe, think this through.

"Tobecchi, you're out of breath. Did you run on the stairs or something?" You're so pretty, you know that? Even with the sun against you.

"Uhh yeah, Yui was looking for you." Darn it Tobe, good thing she hasn't noticed.

"Oh." She checked her phone and chucked like nothing happened. "Hayato and Yumiko mailed me huh, well let's hurry up. Better not keep them waiting."

So we walked down to the stairs and I never felt so uncomfortable and confused in my life since my coach berated me in my first year of football club. What did any of us do wrong? I thought we were fine, but then… aah! I don't know what's going on. What did we have then?

After meeting with my friends, I had grappled with these thoughts that I had in my mind, even in the bullet train. I looked at Hayato, Miura, Hina, Ooka and Yamato. Did any of them think the same things that Hina did? These thoughts along with the conversation I had earlier would linger on my mind even at home, as I was laying down in my bed.

"Hina-chan, what did we have?" I looked at her picture in my phone. I locked the screen and rested my arms below my head. The Messi poster above me seemed like a dark blob, slightly changing its shape, unclear of what it really is.

It took a long time for me before I went to sleep.

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 **A.N.: This fic is most probably heresy, but any critical reviews and suggestions are very welcome.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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